I finally told my family my engagement and wedding plans this August.
Based on our original plans, I shouldn’t have told yet. We were planning to surprise my family when I go home this July.
But last Sunday, it just felt right to share the news.
A few days before Sunday, I’ve already been thinking of breaking the news earlier. Something inside me was whispering, “Don’t rob your family of the joy of knowing.” I told Mr. P about it when we talked last Saturday morning. We decided to tell on the first week of June.
The following day, Sunday, I met with my bible group. One of my friends asked if I already told my parents. I said, not yet. Then, she told me in mixed English and Japanese, “Don’t rob your family of the joy of knowing.” It’s so strange hearing the same thoughts inside me coming from another person. I took it as a sign that I should really tell earlier than July.
But what’s stranger is this.
My parents attended a wedding last Saturday- the same day when Mr. P and I decided to tell earlier. My father talked with the Pastor. He told him that maybe I’ll be getting married this October and December because my mom kept on urging me to get married this year. The pastor casually said, “I think she’s getting married in August.” We haven’t talked personally to this pastor. We only met him once and he was on the pulpit. But, he was the same pastor that we’re thinking of officiating our wedding. We’ve already written down his name on the invitation even if he doesn’t know yet. My father shared this conversation last Sunday while my mom and I were talking on Skype.
That did me.
A friend voicing out my thoughts and a pastor “predicting” my wedding.
I’m not superstitious but I’m not narrow-minded not to take these as signs to share the news.
And so I did.
Without fanfare and much ado, I finally told my family my big news.
In my conspiratory voice, I told my family “May sasabihin ako sa inyo. Pero promise nyo muna na super secret lang to. (I have something to tell you but this is very confidential.)
My family being a curious bunch promised with all their might. I think they thought I’ll just share a juicy gossip. (haha)
I repeated again, “Promise nyo talaga. Bawal ilabas sa family. (Make sure to keep it a secret. It can’t be out of the family.)”
They promised again and urged me to stop being suspenseful.
So, I smilingly told them, “Magpapakasal na ko sa August.” (I’ll be getting married this August.)
There was a brief silence and then the different reactions.
Two of my sisters were like, “Weh? (Really).”
My brother was like, “Baliw mo. (You’re crazy!)”
My father was just smiling and my mother was quiet thinking I was joking.
“Totoo nga. Magapapakasal na ko sa August. Bahala kayo ayaw nyo maniwala.” I said again. (I’m not kidding. Believe it or not.)
I continued, “Uuwi ako sa July. Okay na lahat. Wala na kayong iisipin kundi yung damit nyo na lang.” (I’ll be home in July. You’ve nothing to worry about except for what you’ll wear.)
After saying these, I think they finally believed me or the news sank in.
My two sisters squealed for joy and said they’re kinikilig.
My brother, in his seemingly-indifferent voice, just said, “Okay, ako magdadrive sayo. (Okay, I’ll be your driver.” He then went out of the room.
My father and mother were saying some things I couldn’t remember.
What I remember is the pure joy that I saw on their faces. They were happy for me.
The Simplicity of It
I didn’t realize that this secret wedding plan is weighing on me. It’s something too beautiful not to share to the people who love me most. When I saw how ecstatic they were, my joy is doubled. It felt like a dove flew from my heart. I felt a lightness and a rightness of being.
Originally, I would have taken out my parents to a nice restaurant to share the news. In hindsight, I’m glad I did it on Skype while my parents least expected it. We were all in our house clothes. I was never known to mince words or to make grand announcements. I’ve always been straightforward and casual. The way I shared my news was so me.
Later that night, my mom sent me a message:
“I am always proud of you. You know that, right? Love you more. Goodnight.”
She doesn’t usually send me messages but I think she’s too happy not to send me one that night.