Wedding Entourage

A traditional Filipino wedding is like a long procession. The entourage is made up of the groom. the candle bearer, bible bearer, coin, bearer, ring bearer, the bride’s  and groom’s parents, the officiating minister and the many pairs of bridesmaids and groomsmen. Then there’s also the numerous principal sponsors (or the Witnesses) and the secondary sponsors- veil, cord, candle. Then there are the flower girls with their escorts and the maid of honor. Then finally, the bride. The bridal march may have already played twice or thrice before the actual bride shows up.

The reason for this crowded entourage is because Filipino couples feel the need to include relatives and friends in their wedding. The result: a long long entourage.

But here’s a common complaint I’ve read in forums, half of the people in the entourage don’t really care about the couple. They just want to wear something nice and be part of a wedding. A lot of bridesmaids and groomsmen don’t know their responsibilities. Secondary sponsors also don’t know the essence of what they’re about to do. Some principal sponsors don’t even know the couple personally. They’re just some influential person that can help the couple through finances or connections.

I don’t want our wedding to be like that. I’m praying for a meaningful celebration of our love. I don’t want a grand party or a long procession where half of the people don’t care about us. So, Mr. P and I limited our guest list to our closest friends and family members. We also did away with a traditional entourage.

We won’t have bridesmaids and groomsmen because Mr. P and I are doing all the planning. Our wedding plans is a secret and those who are invited will only know 2-3 weeks prior. By that time, there’s nothing left for the bridesmaids and groomsmen to do. We hired an on-the-day coordinator so really, what else they can do? However, I will ask my sisters and a few female friends to act as ushers before the ceremony. They can’t be ushers if I make them as my bridesmaids.

We won’t have the secondary sponsors- candle, veil and cord. Mr. P and I are Christians but we just don’t see the point of this ritual. Other cultures don’t have these things, too. What we want is for the Pastor to spend time praying for us.

Because we won’t have secondary sponsors, we won’t need all the different bearers some weddings have. I’ll just ask my brother to serve as a the ring bearer. He’s 19 years old and he’s really big. He’s not the usual ring bearer but he’s my baby brother and I’d want him to carry the rings while my other brother will drive me to the venue.

We’ll have flower girls just because I love my 5-year old niece and Mr. P has a niece too. My niece likes dressing up and we still have to convince her to allow us to get married. She’s adamant in saying Mr. P and I can’t get married. She’s like that with my other sisters and brothers so she’s not really singling us out. She has this thinking that people will leave our house once they get married.

Mr. P will ask his brother to be his best man while one of my sisters will be my maid of honor. They have two tasks on our wedding day: They’re in charge of receiving communication from our guests and suppliers. They’re also in charge of overseeing our relatives and friends. We do need these two so we can’t do away without them.

As for principal sponsors, we’ll only have 2 pairs. One pair is my aunt and my uncle. Another pair is a family friend. We chose them because they truly care for us. Their marriages are also inspiring. I believe that couples should choose sponsors who can guide them and pray for them as they start their own journey. Guidance and prayers are more valuable than money or any material gifts that people can give.

If I count my entourage, there’d only be 16 people in all – our parents (4), sponsors (4), flower girls (2), ring bearer (1), the minister (1), bestman (1), maid of honor (1), groom (1) and bride (1) . Honestly though, I could still reduce that number to just 2- Mr. P and me.  But we don’t want to take away the experience from our parents so we’re just doing a compromise.

I’m pretty sure some people would ask where are the bridesmaids and other usual characters in a wedding entourage.  I’m writing this now so I can just direct them here and find all the explanations they need.

Our entourage is comparatively small and simple but I know that all the people there truly care for us.

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Wedding Entourage

  1. Hi! I saw your blog entry shared by Willie. I took the liberty of reading your other entries and this got me. All because of the following reasons:
    1. I’m also marrying a Mr. P(aul) In August
    2. We are also Christians
    3. We also have the same opinion about the wedding entourages and wedding symbols in the Philippines. Upon research, the symbols were actually influenced by the Spaniards. While most of the time the long entourage are for nice looking pictures only.

    I remember one Christian wedding where I was asked to be a secondary sponsor because I was part of their love story. From how they started until they planned to marry each other. I sadly had to back out because the groom’s father was questioning my inclusion in the list. Pinag-aawayan na nung mag-asawa kase gusto pagbigyan ng lalaki tatay nya. Si girl naman gusto talaga na andun ako. The father wanted to include a newly bar passer niece to take my place. She was by the way unknown to the couple because she lived in the province for the longest time. Haha. I felt sad for my friend kase she was stressing about it na for her inlaws making pakialam the list. In the end, I had to make an excuse na lang na may bago ako project on the day of her wedding na susunod lang ako sa kasal and di ko mafufulfill ang duty ko. And that it was a better choice to get the pinsan of the groom.

    I said a lot. But blessings to your preps sis. We can be called rebel brides for this because we’re doing away with traditions. 🙂

    God bless!

    Like

    • Hello!

      Thank you for reading. We do have a lot of similarities. When are you getting married and where, if it’s okay to ask?
      I find long entourages unnecessary and just additional stress.

      You’re gracious enough to give your friend a reason to choose the niece. The “suggestions” are precisely what I’m avoiding so we’re keeping our wedding preps a secret. I know our parents mean well but they sometimes forget it’s OUR wedding and not theirs. As the saying goes, too much hands spoil the cake or something like that. I’ll only married once and I want to enjoy the preparation.

      I hope you’re enjoying your preps too. Have a blessed week!

      Like

  2. It’s an amazing story=) Congrats. You had an awesome wedding=) Soon I start planning mine too=) I am so excited I have already found some ideas from this community Wedding Forward and I can’t wait for it=) I want an ideal but small ceremony and invite only the closest ppl)

    Like

    • Hello! Thank you. We also want a small ceremony with only the closest people. Thank you for sharing the link. I browsed the site and it was indeed useful. Enjoy your preps!

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s