Why Mr. P and the Nerd Want a Small Wedding

Mr. P and I have been together for 10 and 1/2 years. We’ve been constantly asked when are we getting married. Our families have been sort-of-pushing us to tie the knot. I think our parents are somewhat worried that we’ll have a baby out of wedlock. They said it’s better to start a marriage right. Even our relatives and friends regularly ask  if we have plans.

This incessant “pushing” made us decide to keep our wedding preparation a secret. Only Mr. P, me, our wedding suppliers and a few close friends know that we’re getting married this year. Don’t get me wrong. I’m happy that people will be happy when we get married. But we just don’t think we’ll enjoy our day if we invite all the people who want to come.

Here are our reasons against a big wedding:

1. Big wedding is equals to big spending.

Can anyone dispute this? The bigger the wedding, the more expensive it gets. We allotted less than 300K PHP for all our wedding expenses including pre and post wedding activities. Our honeymoon isn’t even included yet. If we add more guests, we’ll have to spend more. We’re paying for everything and we’re not expecting our parents or guests to spend on anything. Aside from our wedding, we also have to think where we’re going to live. In short, a big wedding is not practical.

2. Lots of guests means lots of people to deal with.

Even if we have a bigger budget, we’d still opt for a small wedding because we don’t want to deal with hundreds of guests. We want a laidback wedding where we can talk to our guests. We also want our guests to enjoy the wedding. These are easier to do in a smaller crowd.

3. Lots of guests means lots of people to “please.”

We’re not people pleasers but we still get affected by comments, comparisons and opinions. My relatives are especially generous in giving them. We don’t want our wedding to be a form of  entertainment where we have to please our guests. To avoid these, we’re not planning to invite people who feels entitled to be pleased.

4. A big wedding is not equals to a meaningful wedding.

More than anything, we want our wedding to be solemn and meaningful. We did not include things in our wedding that we don’t understand. We have no bridesmaids and groomsmen because we just don’t see the point of having them. We won’t have the customary release of doves because we also don’t see the point in that. Even with our selected guests, we’ll only be inviting people who truly cares for us and who really wanted to celebrate with us. We won’t be using our wedding as a family reunion or to serve as business/ career move.

I’m not against big weddings or couples who choose to have a grand big weddings. It’s just that for Mr. and me, we’ll be happier in an intimate one.


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